Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
