smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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