nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
