Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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