what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
