My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
