I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
