Do vagina's smell?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I AM VODKA MAN
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
