I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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