I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
