Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
