Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize