Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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