sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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