Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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