apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
