just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
