I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
