last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
