Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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