I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
