ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I will pee on everything he values.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
