i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
