I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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