I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
3pm strippers are depressing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
