A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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