Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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