so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
