Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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