you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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