Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
