i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
