Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
