Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
