plz talk dirty to me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
