so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
