i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
