White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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