Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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