i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
is it fun? or sober?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
