btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
