he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
