he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
