just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
someone owes me an orgasm
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
