Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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