I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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