made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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