hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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