remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Everyone says I win the strip club
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
