i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
