what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
