who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
