college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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