I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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